Has it happened to you at some time in your life to be single and look around only seeing couples among your acquaintances and friends? Unfortunately, it is something that happens very often, especially now that the average age for a wedding is rising.
Especially in a woman who dreams of a family with children as a child, accepting to be single can become something very tiring.
Time passes, your friends, sisters or younger brothers get married and you continue your single life. You meet with others for a dinner and you feel like an alien when everyone talks about how to organize a wedding or they plan to set aside money to buy a house, which naturally has one or two extra rooms for a child.
We women also have a further problem: when our friends become mothers they become monothematic, they only talk about children and often their diapers. You don't know how someone's intestinal needs can be topics of conversation, but they keep us from dying.
Result: you can't make a contribution to their conversations and you feel a being too many. It does not happen to all, there are women who face the situation in a very relaxed way without having any problems and do not think that their life is a failure, but the vast majority of women belong to the first group, even when they do not admit it.
What are the advantages of being single?
I well remember the period of my "singletudine" with my own apartment, my own TV, my own bathroom and double MIA walk-in closet.
Even the bed was available in full, without anyone invading my half. In the evening I was not obliged to cook: returning from work I could decide to eat a sandwich or some leftover or not to eat at all. My time was just for me, I could organize my commitments and my imagination without dividing the minutes between 300 needs.
A wonderful thing was then that I could furnish the apartment as I wanted and a woman loves to furnish a house, but if you have a man who wants to participate nearby, all your personal study on the most fashionable interior design is going to be fried and every Spending on a cute item is considered stupid.
The disadvantages of being single
The fundamental problem is that all the advantages listed above disappear when one realizes something: we have a lot of space, but life is a continuous passing from one state of solitude to another. Slowly we risk becoming asocial animals because our existence diminishes our social relations, especially if we think that even work, inevitably to the PC, ends up contributing to this ugliness.
How to deal with single status without feeling bad?
We must learn from women, the minority, who live single status without a conviction. Fortunately, we live in a society where an unmarried woman can continue to live without being on the margins of society. Certainly, someone has overtaken a certain threshold begins to call you an old maid, but she is a poor idiot and you can continue to live without anyone obliging you to marry the first one that happens or close you in a convent.
Then learn to face your single status without feeling bad by following a few tips.
1- Created alternative relationships
Nowadays the affections are varied and the possible relationships also, so you have alternatives to marriage. Take your eyes off your mobile phone and TV and keep your bonds alive. First of all, spend a lot of time with family and friends. These are relationships that can last a lifetime, in many cases, more than a marriage, do not lose them, rather feed them continuously.
In a moment of solitude, you can call a friend and it will not be a trivial thing. Offer to babysit children or family animals: you could get topics for discussion and feel part of a set that you are not yet able to build.
2- Get more out of your home
Find reasons to leave home and get in touch with others all the time.
Try new restaurants and shops. If you are a homeworker, take your computer and go to work in a bar, all you need is wi-fi.
Try to know who lives near you. In the city, you have the habit of not knowing who lives there next door and, for someone like me who grew up in a country where everyone knows everyone, is something anomalous. If your building will not be a collection of strangers, but of people with whom to chat and have a coffee, you will feel less alone!
3- Join social groups
Also in your city, there will be: look for groups dedicated to particular activities and hobbies. These would be people who share a passion with you and therefore conversation topics.
4- Improve your self-esteem
You must also work on yourself: more social relationships are not a way to overcome the single crisis if your head does not accept it.
Make yourself proud of yourself, focus on your career, give yourself new treats like a new dress, tidy hair and so on.
5- Enjoy your private time
Being alone is not a condemnation, you will realize it sooner or later (and you will want to go back). So enjoy your moments on your own: watch a movie you love, look after your plants. Explore yourself by writing a diary.
6- Activate your body
To overcome loneliness and depression, physical activity is a unique medicine: it is not just about treating the body, but about feeling better about yourself. Running outdoors is the most popular activity: during the summer you can enjoy a park and it's all absolutely free (you don't have the excuse of not having money). If you can't run, you can take long walks.
Choose public routes or busy parks: you could make many friends.
If you have the chance, join the gym: if you are more introverted, finding friendships in a closed environment where the same people always meet will be much easier.
7- Give new life at home
The decor makes us happy, so have fun. Use bright and warm colors, they will help your mood and build your own nest.
8- Make your dream journey
Traveling alone is a unique experience that increases our self-esteem and makes us know ourselves: it is the best way to recover from depression from a single status.
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